Relationships Useful Tips

Who Are You In Life?

Have you ever thought what your roles in life are? You may be surprised how many of them you perform and how important they are. Meet the secret today.

What Are Your Roles In Life

In order to have success in life, you need to figure out what is expected from you and take responsibility to make sure that those expectations are fulfilled. Roles in life are like jobs.

How We Learn a Given Role In Life

A child has no beliefs and only two fears (i.e. the fear of falling and the fear of loud noise) when is born. Spiritual teachers may add reincarnation or cellular memory to that. But even in this case, 99% of the programs we are conditioned by our parents, the mass media, religion and society.

We learn life roles by observation and modelling our parents, the characters in cartoons for children and fairy tales. We are also instructed by the adults and later teachers how to behave and what to think.


We mostly experience changes in each role during significant events in life, for example during the family cycle, when a child moving away from home or retirement from a long career. As everything evolves in our life, our roles do the same.

Within time, you are not the same man or woman as ten years ago and I do not mean older or less valuable in today’s world, rather more experienced and richer in life wisdom.

The Most Typical Roles In Life

Your roles can be played in various fields of life: the personal and professional one. Some of them result from blood ties, others concern your career and the kind of job you do. However, apart from being a next of kin of a kind or an employee/businessman/businesswoman – each role has a given meaning which is only known by you.

Here are the roles played in the family:

home-maker, husband/wife, brother/sister/sibling, mother/father/parent, adult child, godmother, caretaker, grandpa/grandma, breadwinner, uncle/aunt, lover, fiance’.

Here are the roles played outside of your family:

instructor, manager, salesperson, client, therapist, teacher, coach, employee, director, employer, businessman/woman, caretaker, student, professor, pupil, volunteer, any other occupation you do at work (i.e. accountant, lawyer, doctor, musician, writer.)

How to Define the Roles of Life

Defining the roles of your life is another brick of your happiness foundation. List who you are in your family and in your job (some examples are listed above if you have no idea what to choose). Choose up to 5 roles in each case:


Now define each of the roles – what they mean to you.

  • Role 1 – …
  • Role 2 – …
  • Role 3 – …
  • Role 4 – … and so on.

In my case, I am definitely a friend, daughter, sister, niece and a partner in my private life. My professional roles include blogger, web administrator, publisher, teacher, coach, translator. Here are my definitions for two roles:

Friend – someone you can rely on, who will help you in need, understands you and supports you, loyal and honest.

Teacher and coach – someone who helps other people to solve their problems, giving them rods, teaching how to catch the fish of happiness, patient, helpful, understanding, but firm and a bit demanding.

How To Switch Between Roles

It is usually hard to switch between the family and professional roles. Therefore, many misunderstandings happen here. For example, you come home from work and have still work in your head, forgetting that now you are a mother/father/partner. Learn how to set firm boundaries between various kinds of roles:

Observe and log the times of each role

List all your roles again in each category (family and career) and add the time spans you spent on them. There might be more than one time span for each role.



Set Time Limits

Now when you know how much time you spend playing a given role, make some rules. For example, from 9 am to 5 pm you are at work, doing your professional ones. However, later become a father/mother/partner.

In a Nutshell

Today you have learnt how to define and manage your roles in life. They may concern your private and professional life, evolving with you. Good luck on keeping all your roles in harmony throughout your life.

Victoria Herocten

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