Emotional abuse is very tricky, and you might not even know that it is your challenge. I will help you to identify the 30 top symptoms of emotional abuse and show it on the real examples. Emotional abusers harm you by:
1. Not Caring About Your Feelings
Tina is married for ten years, During the fist seven her marriage was perfect. However, lately, her husband started to ignore her feelings. When she told him that she felt sad or angry, he just left the room, leaving her with unreleased emotions. Her resentment has increased, and she started thinking of counselling or even divorce.
2. . Sharing personal information about you with others
Tina comes from an abusive family, where her father was an alcoholic, and her mother was overprotective. They were struggling financially, and Tina had no degree. Her husband is a professor and so far the difference in education level has not been a problem. Tom started to tell his friends that Tina is ignorant and sometimes even stupid. She learned about it from incident and now has no idea how to trust her husband again.
3. Making subtle threats with the intent to frighten or control you.
Because Tina’s feelings were ignored and her husband started to tear her reputation, she became more aggressive and began to question the status quo of the relationship. Tom, as a doctor, made most of the money and controlled the budget. When Tina became more assertive after starting counseling, he threatened her with leaving her with nothing. W and that she will have to give him back the money for the course to become a nurse What can she do now?
4. Viewing You As an Extension of Themselves
Despite being so controlling, Tom was also very fragile because he expected that his wife would help him to improve his image as the best doctor in the town. He even offered her financial help to do the nurse diploma, and she started it. He wanted Tina to become a hostess in his business.
5. Denying Their Emotionally Abusive Behaviour When Confronted
Finally, Tina began to stand up for herself and attacking Tom’s emotional abuse. He refused, saying that he cares about her and wants to motivate her for personal development. He reasoned that when he became punished few times, she would pull off her sleeves and become more competent.
6. Withholding Sex As a Way To Manipulate And Control
Tina started to play his game. He had a very high sexual drive, and she began to trade with sex, agreeing for encounter only when Tom treated her in the right way.
7. Humiliation In Front of Other People
Sarah struggles with this kind of abuse since she started dating Nick. Even if he seemed to be a good man, he treated her badly when they visited Nick’s friends.
8. Correcting You For Your Behaviour
Nick instructed Sarah how to use the cutlery when they were having a dinner in the restaurant. Then when she was driving, he continually commented her manners on the road.
9. Regular Demeaning Your Opinions Or Needs
Even if Nick assured Sarah oh his “love” for her, his actions meant the opposite. When she asked him to watch her favourite program on TV, he ignored that request, focusing on his preferences.
10. Treating You Like a Child
Every time Sarah started cooking dinner, he arrived at the kitchen and told her what to do, how to cut meat and vegetables, how much salt to give to the soup and how long to cook potatoes. He has never cooked but was eager to “teach” other people, using destructive criticism.
11. Using Sarcasm To Make You Feel Bad About Yourself
That was another technique that Nick used while talking to Sarah. When she finally told him that this behaviour had hurt her, he only smiled and said: “It was only a joke.” Sarah said nothing, but when their date was over, she burst into tears.
12. Accusing You of Being Too Sensitive
After mane-calling and humiliation, when Sarah finally found the courage to be assertive, he started to accuse her of being too sensitive. Sarah began to think of ending the relationship. She started a counsellor where she learned that she was the victim of emotional abuse. Yet there were not all the symptoms her counsellor noticed in her relationship.
13. Regular Pointing Out Your Flaws
Who likes destructive criticism? No one, and you probably, too. Time has come to stop unjustified criticism. Is your boyfriend or husband competent in the field he criticizes? If he cannot accept how you cook the steak, he should either give you constructive advice or do it himself. And another thing – why is he still with you, if he does not like some your traits.
Ask him to treat you with bigger respect. And if he can’t, maybe it is time to move on and end the relationship. However, before you do so, look at your self-esteem and life in general. Maybe first you need to have more respect for yourself.
14. Giving You Disapproving Body Language
You probably have met at least one person of that kind. When things are not going according to his expectations, he starts to become sulky, slam the door and his mimics shows hostility. What can you do then? Talk, and if he does not want to do so, think where your relationship is going and if you don’t need to make changes in your life.Yet remember to choose the right time of talking about his behaviour.
15. You Feel Like You Need Permission to Make Decisions
Do you know such type of boyfriends or husbands? You have probably met at least one of them. If you haven’t, ask your friends. He will usually say nothing, but you know how aggressive he can become if you resist. He will walk away slanting the door or start playing the TV loudly. His look and mimics show resentment and anger. Do I need to write more? Probably not. Again, confrontation works the best here. You can also demonstrate him the same behaviour, so he notices how rude it is.
This is the first part of the top 30 symptoms of emotional abuse. Next week I will present you the remaining 15 ones. Stay tuned to my blog and leave a comment. Have a nice day.
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