We often compare our achievements or material status to others. However, comparing to others often causes minority complex and brings stress to our lives. How to stop comparing to other people?
“God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e. everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won’t tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.”
— Terry Pratchett
1. Identify Your Comparative Behaviours
This kind of behaviour happens when you compare yourself to other people. You might feel superior or inferior while comparing to others. In some cases, social comparisons can be helpful, but negative comparative behaviours can damage your self-esteem.
2. Use Snippets
They which will help you to stop negative thinking. We often put labels on ourselves, like “an idiot” or “stupid person”. Stop them by using short statements which will cut negativity. Here are some examples of snippets:
- Assume nothing!
- Hold it! No comparisons!
- Check it out.
Learn them by heart and create the habit of using these snippets every time you catch yourself comparing you to others
3. Focus On Your Achievements
You have everything you need to accomplish excellent goals in your little section of the world. And focus on that part. You may say ”But is it necessary for other people? For some, it may be not, but you will find the people who will be grateful for what you are doing. And that is your success. With that opportunity squarely in front of you, become aware of your past successes. Whether you are a doctor, writer, musician, mother, or student, you have a unique perspective backed by unique experiences and unique gifts. You have the capacity to love, serve, and contribute. Find motivation in them to pursue more.
4. Compete Less
Appreciate more. Competition is appropriate in some cases. However, life is not one of them. You have all been thrown together at this exact moment on this exact planet. The sooner you stop competing against others to “win,” the faster you can start working together to figure it out. The first step in overcoming the habit of competition is to appreciate routinely and compliment the contribution of others.
5. Practise Gratitude
It is not the first time I mention the importance of gratitude. You will learn how to practise at the and of this chapter. Gratitude always forces you to recognise the good things you already have in your world. Learn more about gratitude here (link).
Start a gratitude journal. Every day write some blessings, even if they might repeat. It is never enough to be grateful for being healthy or having the roof over your head.
6. Remind Yourself That Nobody Is Perfect
Focusing on the negatives is rarely as helpful as an emphasis on the positives. What might help you here is to remember that nobody is perfect, and nobody is living a painless life? It is said that to succeed you need to face obstacles. And everybody is suffering through their own, whether you are close enough to know it or not.
9. Find Inspiration Without Comparison
It is foolish to compare your lives with others’. However, finding inspiration and learning from others is much wiser. Work hard to learn the difference., humbly asking questions of the people you admire or read biographies as inspiration. Remember that the great people today have also started somewhere and been struggling similar challenges as you.
10. Be Kind To Yourself
When you are kinder and less harsh with yourself, you will encourage yourself to go the extra mile and to try harder. Understand that you are in control of your life. I am aware that it is tough to resist comparing yourself to others. But you make choices to lead your life in a particular way. You make decisions that are best for you, not for anybody else. Remember that it is not important what other people do or have. You are the one that matters in the course of your life as they cannot live for you – breathe your lungs or walk with your legs.
11. If You Need To Compare, Compare With Yourself
Remember this sentence anytime when the negative thoughts of comparison come to your mind. You are the unique individual, and it will never be fair to compare you to someone else.
These are just some of the ways in which you can stop comparative thoughts.
How do you stop comparing to other people? Share your experience, leaving a comment.
Thank you and have a nice day