In the world of the rat race, we tend to compare to other people, giving up assertiveness and knowing it makes no sense. Today I will show you what to do to never ever do this mistake again.
How To Stop Comparing To Other People
I mean negative comparison to others here. It occurs when you compare yourself to someone who has gotten something which you have not. In this case minority complex, frustration and anger appear. How can you handle negative comparisons? There are ten efficient steps which you need to take to stop comparing yourself to other people. Here they are:
1. Identify The Problem
This kind of behaviour happens when you compare yourself to other people. You might feel superior or inferior while comparing to others. In some cases, social comparisons can be helpful, but negative comparative behaviours can damage your self-esteem. List the five cases when you compare yourself to other people.
2. Use Snippets
They are short statements which will help you to stop negative thinking, which is labelling and personalisation. Here are some examples:
• Assume nothing!
• Hold it! No comparisons!
• Check it out.
• Don’t be so paranoid about standards.
• I can describe myself accurately, without reference to others.
• Everybody is different, with different strong and weak points.
• I am just me, without comparisons.
• Most of the universe has nothing to do with me.
Learn them off by heart and use them any time you notice that you start comparing yourself to other people. To practice this skill, choose one comparison. It can be your child, your work or wealth. Question it with one of the statements in writing. Fill in one full page rewriting this statement (e.g. “Hold it! No comparisons!”).
3. Focus On Your Achievements
You have everything you need to accomplish awesome goals in your little section of the world. And look at that part for a while. You may say “But is it necessary for other people?” For some, it may be not, but you will find the people who will be grateful for what you are doing. And that is your success. With that opportunity squarely in front of you, become aware of your past successes. Whether you are a doctor, writer, musician, mother or student, you have a unique perspective backed by unique experiences and unique gifts. You have the capacity to love, serve and contribute. Find motivation in them to pursue more. Now describe your talents. List five of them below.
List ten achievements in your fields of life (family, work, finance, health)
Pursue greater things in life.
You also have higher pursuits, which have no measurement. They are your great treasures, such as love, humility, empathy, selflessness and generosity. Desire them above everything else and remove yourself entirely from society’s definition of success.
4. Compete Less
Instead, appreciate more. Competition is appropriate in some cases. However, life is not one of them. You have all been thrown together at this exact moment on this exact planet. The sooner you stop competing against others to win,’ the faster you can start working together to figure it out. The first step in overcoming the habit of competition is to appreciate routinely and compliment the contribution of others.
5. Practice Gratitude
It is not the first time I mention the importance of gratitude. It always forces you to recognise the good things you already have in your world. In the meantime, list five things that you are grateful for today.
6. Remember That No One Is Perfect
Focusing on the negatives is rarely as helpful as an emphasis on the positives. What might help you here is to remember that nobody is perfect, and nobody is living a painless life? It is said that to succeed you need to face obstacles. And everybody is suffering through their own, whether you are close enough to know it or not.
7. Go For a Walk
Next time you are comparing yourself to others, get up and change your surroundings. Go for a walk, even if only to the other side of the room. Allow the change in your surroundings to prompt a change in your thinking.
8. Find Inspiration Without Comparison
It is foolish to compare your life to others. However, finding inspiration and learning from others is much wiser. Work hard to learn the difference by humbly asking questions of the people you admire or whose biographies you read for inspiration. Remember that the great people of today have also started somewhere and been struggling with similar challenges to yours.
9. Be Kind To Yourself
When you are kinder and less harsh with yourself, you will encourage yourself to go the extra mile and to try harder. Understand that you are in control of your life. I am aware that it is tough to resist comparing yourself to others. But you make the choices to lead your life in a particular way. You make decisions that are best for you, not for anybody else. Remember that it is not important what other people do or have. You are the one that matters in the course of your life as they cannot live for you, breathe with your lungs or walk with your legs.
10. Compare To Yourself
Remember this sentence anytime when the negative thoughts of comparison come to your mind. You are a unique individual; it will never be fair to compare you to someone else.
You need to strive to be the best possible version of yourself, not only for yourself but for the benefit and contribution that you can offer to others. Work hard to take care of yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually. Commit to growing a little bit each day. And learn to celebrate the small achievements you are making without comparing them to others.
If you have done the exercise of comparing what you achieved five years ago to where you are now, the chances are that you can notice your progress and in this way, celebrate your success.
However, you can compare yourself to someone with qualities you admire. Rather than just envy this person for his/her good qualities, you strive to make yourself a better salesman. Then their better performance is not an obstacle; it motivates you to put in more effort.
In a Nutshell
Today you have learnt how to stop comparing to other people. Be kind to yourself, have your own achievements as the markers of your growth, use snippets and never, ever again compare to other people again. Good luck.