inner child

Who is Your Inner Child

A month ago I started working with my inner child and now have decided to make you familiar with this beautiful part of our personality. Today I will show you how to meet him or her.

Meet Your Inner Child

In popular psychology and analytical psychology, inner child is an individual’s childlike aspect. It includes what a person learned as a child, before puberty. The inner child is often conceived as a semi-independent subpersonality subordinate to the waking conscious mind.


Our inner child represents the child we once were and it remains with us throughout our lives regardless of our age. Every adult has an him or her within their psyche that was created from their childhood experiences and relationships. If your experiences were traumatic, then you need to work hard to heal this part of your personality.

Read more about trauma and toxic relationships

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Everyone’s inner child is different with their own personalities, needs and struggles. However, at the same time, they need to feel loved and safe. Each inner child is also a different age depending on one’s experiences and traumas.

What Is The Age Of Your Inner Child

Typically, it is the age where you experienced the most difficulties and hardships. They do not have to be particularly big or profound to have made a permanent impact on you either. Small and seemingly inconsequential events, experiences and interactions can have huge impacts on our psyches and developing self.

Your inner child may be 2 or 3 years old, while for other people they could be 13 or 14. The appearance, voice, emotional state, vocabulary, etc. are also specific to each inner child.

What Is It Like?

For example, one inner child might be very young, scared and crying, while another might be a teenager who is extremely angry and hostile. Here I would not totally agree with the fact that inner child cannot exist during puberty as most teenagers undergo this process so we cannot set a strict border when inner child creation ends. Also, according to law, teenagers are called minors before reaching e.g. 18.

These differences give insight into the struggles of the individual, what difficulties they faced and what they need in order to let go of any traumas or negative emotions. If your inner child is fearful and crying, your traumas probably happened at a very early age, you might have been emotionally abused. The angry teenager, in turn might disagree with his/her parent’s lifestyle and double standards for adults and children.

Regardless of your belief in the existence of the “inner child,” we all have a part of ourselves left over from our childhood that has unresolved issues and emotions. If you continue to ignore this part of your self, you are ignoring the most important part that you need to understand.

How To Meet Your Inner Child

There are many methods to meet your inner child. Louise Hay works with affirmations said aloud, other people recommend writing. But there is one the most common method: just look into your eyes.

Look Into Your Eyes

Stand in front of the mirror and look into your eyes. How do you feel? Do you like yourself? How long can you look into your eyes? I assume at the beginning it may be hard and you will not accept what you see. Look closely into your eyes. Don’t be surprised when you see a spark twinkling back at you, for that is your soul.

Use Affirmations

When you become familiar with looking into your eyes, add some affirmations. Say “I love you” and observe what will happen. How comfortable do you feel? Are you trying to deny these words? Then you can try other affirmations. Use them separately, observing your reactions. Start them with your name:


I will write more about working with your inner child in one of my next posts. When you finish the exercise with affirmations, write down your observations in the diary. They will be useful with the later work and you will be able to spot the difference in your behaviour after a while.

Read more about affirmations:

Express Yourself Freely

Now the time has come to recognise your inner child in action. He or she never suppress or bottles up feelings. For example, when it loves, it gives all the love it has, for there is more where that came from. Therefore, when something beautiful touches your heart, feel free to ball your eyes out with tears of joy.

When you discover something amazing – dance, shout, celebrate, and share it with the world without a second thought. Observe your reactions. Are you trying to control your inner child? Learn how to limit it.

Honour The Child Inside You

Although your Inner Child is called a “child,” it is far beyond that. Children have hidden wisdom which is beyond our understanding. He or she does not worry about what is out of your control. Always love, respect, and honour your inner child. Allow time for play. It might be your enjoyment while listening to music, dancing, playing games outside, yoga, travel, writing, meditating. Think for a while and write down what gives you spontaineous joy.

In a Nutshell

Today you have read about how to meet your inner child. You can start this adventure by looking into your eyes, then add affirmations and expressing yourself freely. Observe your reactions and write them down so later you will be able to work with your inner child, healing him or her.

Victoria Herocten

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