Toxic parents are a big problem in today’s world. They use destructive criticism and can even put a pressure on you to stay in your abusive relationship. What can you do then?
However, there will be always people who are not happy if you succeed, just because they are jealous, but don’t do anything to achieve their goals. This kind of people will do their best to kill your dreams. Unfortunately, there are many among them, who seem to be friends or who are living with you for many years. .
1. Recall a person who has never liked your good ideas
Someone who has never appreciated your achievements, who has criticized all your initiatives, announcing catastrophic future for them. How much time have you spent with him or her? To what extend have they influenced your decisions, choices? How did you feel, following their advice? Does it still have an impact on your life?
2. If other people are not happy, there is a challenge for them to accept your happiness
. On the other hand, their criticism is useless as they are not authorities in the field of “happiness”. Now take the happiness journal and write down all the negative opinions about your dreams from the past. It might be said by any person, also your abusive partner.
3.Then, when you have at least ten of negative statements, ask yourself a question:
“Was the author of the statement entitled to criticize me in this case? How much did he or she achieve in this field so far?”. One by one, evaluate each author, assessing their present situation, life achievements and the fields they are skilled.
4. Check the answers
If you discover that most of these opinions of your toxic parents are not based on reality, the authors are not authorities at all (i.e. they rare not experts and have not achieved remarkable success in the field on which they comment- cross the statements out. Now it is time to form alternatives.
5.Look for someone who is an expert in the field you were criticized and ask him or her for advice.
Find also the leaders, the people who could achieve a lot in the fields you have set your goals. Learn from them, and if you can, connect with them, at least online.
Author: Victoria Herocten Writer and coach.
Since 2009 she helps women with abuse to start over and how to be happy .
The co-author of the bestseller“Gratitude Book”.