Emotional Wellbeing Mental Wellness Useful Tips

How To Define Life Values In 4 Baby Steps

You have already learnt how to create life values. You also know that some of them have a negative impact on your life. How to create only happiness values?

Your Life Values

Check my last blog post and notice the three major move-away-from values. They resonate with negative energy and impede your happiness. Now, what can you do to transform them into happiness values?

Many unhappy people focus on the things that they want to avoid and attracting more of that. How to change it? You can transform the negative values into positive ones. Aiming for positive values will make you happy. Here are some examples of transformation:

  • aggression – peacefulness
  • anger – excitement
  • anxiety – gratitude
  • illness – growth
  • frustration – determination
  • helplessness – practicality
  • humiliation – admiration
  • hostility – friendship
  • manipulation – fair play
  • loneliness – giving away
  • remorse – self-confidence
  • guilt – self-confidence
  • self-criticism – self-love
  • depression – joy
  • emptiness – love and warmth

How Life Values Work

You may oppose and become frustrated, angry seeing this list for the first time. I understand it. But now I will give you some examples of why these pairs work and how exactly these positive values substitute the move-away-from ones.

Let’s take illness as something you dread and would like to avoid at all costs. It is fine. However, if you want to grow on a bit more difficult level than so far, the illness will not be something negative.

Anger and excitement. Both are driven by adrenaline, you just focus on different things then. Instead of stubborn defending of your territory and status quo, think what new, interesting you might be excited with. I do not suggest giving up assertiveness, because this attitude is not based on anger.

Self-criticism and self-love are the opposite, but both concern the way how you treat yourself. You might be afraid of criticism, but first, notice how many times you do it yourself to your self. Is it not better to love yourself instead?

How To Create Life Values

Look at your move-away-from values and find the opposite value on the list. If it is not there, find something similar or write a comment so that I can update the list.

1. Choose Your Top Move-Away-From Value

This value is the most disastrous in your life. Therefore, it has to be transformed as first. Look at this value and at the examples presented in this post. Find a contrary value, which will be your another move-towards life value. Your task will be even easier if this value is on your list of move-towards ones. If not, you will add it as a new one later.

2. Find References For the Contrary Life Value

References are the arguments supporting a given belief or value. You probably have a lot of them for your top move-away-from values. Take a diary and write down all these references first.

Then look at the contrary happiness (the move-towards value from the list in this post.) Write down why e.g. love could be something opposite to self-criticism. For example, in the case of anger, analyse excitement. Why be excited? What are the benefits of it?

3. Use Autosuggestion

Now the time has come for affirmations and autosuggestion – the programming of your new self. Just changing one move-away-from value into an alternative positive one will make wonders. Check these posts about affirmations:

4. Use Affirmations

I will write a whole post about the usage of affirmations in the future. Here are some simple steps which you can implement:

Practise Regularly

Remember that you need to install a new habit in your brain, to reprogram your mind. Therefore, every day read aloud the affirmations after waking up and before going to bed. Listen to the recording which you have done as often as possible during cleaning, ironing, doing exercises.

Set the Right Mindset

It is important to have a positive attitude toward the process of installing your new values. You need to be patient but also convinced that it will work. Never surrender to discouragement and negative thoughts which will be trying to spoil your efforts.

Use the law of Substitution to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. You can also do it in writing and then read aloud the positive alternatives.

For example, for the thought “It’s stupid” you can create this alternative “It’s interesting and I am curious about what will happen next.”

In a Nutshell

Today you have learnt how to find happiness values and how to transform your move-away-from ones. You can use autosuggestion, especially affirmations and change the references to these move-away-from values. Good luck with staying on the way of only the happiness values.

Victoria Herocten

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

2 + seventeen =