If you have done an acceptance test in my last post, your mood might plummet. No one wants to see the amount of work to be done. However, I’ve got good news for you: acceptance is at your hand and you can do it.
How To Accept Your Life
Firstly don’t panic and don’t be overwhelmed. Acceptance is
The first layer of an onion is dry but very firm and so that the first thing you will need to do is the hardest. And this thing is letting all your negativity go.
Let Negativity Go
Without this step, it is very hard to accept even a tiny thing. Flooded with negativity, you just feel reluctant to touch any sore part of your life, because accepting your parents after many traumatic arguments can be hard.
Letting negativity go needs to be spontaneous. Don’t start from the most painful traumas and the most fierce anger. At first, you can let negativity go in a general sense because your thoughts will be very fierce here.
Use whichever method you prefer – shouting, kicking or writing – use these channels to release all the built-up negativity. Other people like visualising how the negativity is being destroyed and disappears. You can also read the affirmations:
- I LET NEGATIVITY GO,
- I,… (YOUR NEME0 LET X (THE THING YOU WANT TO GET SHOT OF) GO.
- I… (YOUR NAME) AM FREE FROM…
What can you get shot
This is the tenderer layer of our onion to crack. Forgiveness is not forgetting, it is letting go again – this time the willingness to seek revenge in order to call it quits. You need to be ready to abandon this idea. But firstly,
Forgiving yourself is about getting rid of beating up yourself for the decisions made, for the words said, for any actions which have brought about negative consequences and even for your negative thoughts. At this stage, you also get shot of anger, guilt directed to yourself, pain because of something done by yourself. In short everything which means beating up yourself.
Again, we start from letting go – all the negative emotions directed to youreslf:
- I … (YOUR NAME) LET SELF-PITY GO
- I… (YOUR NAME) LET BEATING UP GO
You can also release the negativity and then let it go:
- I… (YOUR NAME)AM FREEING UP ….. AND LET IT GO NOW
- I… (YOUR NAME) AM DELETING ….. NOW
- I… (YOUR NAME) AM DESTROYING … NOW
- I… (YOUR NAME) AM GETTING RID OF… FROM MY LIFE NOW.
If you are a kinesthetic, you can kick or shout saying these statements, imagining the negative emotion as something which you are destroying.
Now when you got shot of some negative emotions directed to yourself, you can start forgiving yourself.
- I… (YOUR NAME) FORGIVE MYSELF ….
- I… (YOUR NAME) FORGIVE MYSELF THAT …
You can also forgive yourself missed opportunities or lack of assertiveness, indecisiveness, hurting others.
Forgive Your Wrongdoers
This stage is similar to the previous one. So first you need to get rid of negative emotions and pain connected with the wounds you have been inflicted. Again, you can imagine them and by shouting or kicking, throwing – destroying them. So use the examples of statements above to eliminate negativity connected with your wrongdoers. Getting shot of pain may be the hardest. But…
You can forgive someone despite feeling pain. and don’t be afraid to say it. For example you can say:
- … (NAME OF THE WRONGDOER) I FORGIVE YOU…. DESPITE FEELING ….
Acceptance is not possible without gratitude. When you start seeing your blessings instead of limits it will be easier to acknowledge your life. You can also try to find the benefits in your limits.
The best way to practise gratitude is to start writing a journal. Mine is over a year old. You do not need to write boring paragraphs – cartoons and artwork are also good. Then you are not only grateful but express yourself and show your talents.
I have written a post where you can find many examples of what to be grateful for. Let me remind some examples:
- Your life
- Your home
- Your helpers
- The beauty outside (if you are living in the countryside or near the sea, forest, in the mountains)
- Your parents (even if they are quirky sometimes)
- Your work
- Your money
- Your car
- Your core friends
- Your health
After letting go of negativity, forgiving yourself and your wrongdoers, noticing the bright side of your life, you are ready to accept your life. Sometimes you still might feel discomfort, resent or other negative emotions. You do not need to like something or someone for every sake. Your peace of mind while thinking of them is more important.
You will notice that after forgiving yourself and other people you WILL BE ABLE to think about yourself and the wrongdoers in a peaceful way, even if the negative thoughts can still emerge.
Live Right Now
Acceptance is about living in the present instead of ruminating the past or worrying about the future. Notice what is positive about your house, work, boss, friends, parents, children NOW. And focus on it. Ff your boss, co-workers or family are toxic or though, try to talk to them or cut off.
Understand that Everything In Your Life Has a Purpose
This blog is not holistic and I focus mostly on the mental way of solving problems. However, even if you do not believe in God (whichever one/ones) you can notice that everything has a purpose in our life and everything teaches us something.
Even if you do not believe in God, you learn how to live in a society or a relationship, how to support yourself (not only financially.) And most of these skills are not taught at school, you often learn them by trial and error, sometimes following other people’s advice.
In A Nutshell
Acceptance is about acknowledging your life as it is and thinking about it with peace of mind. However, you also need to release and let go all the negativity from your life and forgive – yourself and your wrongdoers. Gratitude and living in the present detach you from limits and pain.
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- 16 Things Your Inner Child Wants To Hear
- A Letter To Your Inner Child
- 8 Proven Ways to Work With Your Inner Child Part 2
- 8 Proven Ways to Work With Your Inner Child Part 1