Many readers asked me how to manage their relationships in a win-win way. Today I will answer this question.
What Is the Win-Win Approach
It is about changing the conflict from adversarial attack and defence to co-operation. Instead of trying to win over the other party for every sake, you start seeking a solution which is right for you and your partner. The formula representing the win-win approach is: “I’m OK – You’re OK”. You need to express your thoughts, feelings, beliefs and opinions in ways that are direct, honest and appropriate. It also means that you respect the rights and needs of others.
The Benefits Of Win-Win
You can avoid stress as both parties respect their mutual needs and can find a compromise. The Happy relationship cannot exist without the win-win approach. Otherwise, it becomes abusive. A win-win approach attempts to find a solution that meets the needs of both parties because I win AND you win.
How do I Develop a Win-Win Approach?
Focus on Needs
Addressing each person’s basic needs means building solutions that acknowledge and value those needs, rather than denying them. The solutions may not be “perfect”, but the person feels quite differently about the outcome.
From a practical point of view, asking questions is the best way of finding out your partner’s needs, even if you might think that you know them very well. Try these questions:
- What’s the outcome or result you want?”
- “What do you need here?”,
- “What values are important to you here?”, “
- “Why does that seem to be the best solution to you?”,
- The Principles of a Win-Win Approach
The Conditions Of Win-Win
As I wrote before, you need to focus on the needs rather than solutions. The second principle says about recognizing the differences between you and your partner. You also need to be open to adapting your position resulting from shared information and attitudes. And the last but not least principle says that you need to attack the problem, not your partner.