Domestic Violence:7 Common Ways of Manipulation By Abusers


Manipulation is a very common practice in a case of toxic or abusive relationships. Some of the ways the manipulators use are very subtle. Here are some of them:

1. Quick Involvement

You might have known or dated the abuser for a brief period before getting engaged or living together. The abuser will pressure you to commit to the relationship. As the victim, you may be made to feel guilty for wanting to slow the pace or end the relationship. Read more..

 2. Blames Others For Feelings

An abuser will use feelings to manipulate you. Common phrases to look for: “You’re hurting me by not doing what I want.” “You control how I feel.”. This tool of manipulation is a kind of emotional blackmail as well. Read more.

3. Manipulation By Isolation

An abuser will attempt to isolate you by severing the victim’s ties to outside support and resources. The batterer will see your friends and family as being “trouble makers.” He may block your access to use of a vehicle, work, or telephone service in the home. You will not be allowed to see your friends and family. He may even threaten you when you do see them.Read more.

4. Manipulation By Jealousy

At the start of the relationship, your abusive partner will equate jealousy with love. He will question you about who you talk to, accuse you of flirting, or become jealous of time spent with others. The abuser may call you frequently during the day, drop by unexpectedly, refuse to let you work, check the car mileage, or ask friends to watch you. Read more.

5. Rigid Sex Roles

You, as a woman, will be expected to serve. For instance, a male abuser will see women as inferior to men, responsible for menial tasks, stupid, and unable to be a whole person without a relationship. How many times does your abusive boyfriend treat you like that? Even at the beginning of a relationship, such behaviour is a no-no. Read more.

6. Dual personality:  “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde”

Explosive behaviour and moodiness are typical of people who beat their partners. You might not notice it at the beginning of your relationship. The question is what you will do then? Tolerate it or have a serious talk before it is too late and you become seriously involved in the relationship? Think of this and make the best decision now.Read more.

7. “Playful” Use of Force In Sex

This behaviour includes restraining partners against their will during sex. It is also acting out fantasies in which the partner is helpless. Initiating sex when the partner is asleep, or demanding sex when the partner is ill or tired are absolute indicators of abuse. The abuser may show little concern for his partner’s wishes and will use sulking and anger to manipulate compliance. He may also show anger or frustration if the woman has not reached orgasm. Read more.

If you have noticed at least one of the ways abusers may manipulate you, take a massive action and stand up for yourself. How to do it? I will explain it in another post. Stay tuned and have a nice day.

Victoria Hrocten

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