14 Things You Need To Forgive Yourself


Many times we hear about forgiving other people and asking for forgiveness. However, there is also a third layer of forgiving: you need to forgive yourself. Today I will give you 14 examples of things which require self-forgiveness.

14 Things You Need To Forgive Yourself

Why 14 and not 100 or 10? Firstly, I would not like to overload you with the work which is hard. Secondly, less examples will give you an inspiration to dig deeper.

1. Wrong Decisions

How many times has it happened that after you had made a decision you were beating up yourself? Unfortunately, in most cases we are not able to predict everything, to include all the factors to our decisions because everything can change unexpectedly within a second. The point is that you had made the best decision in the past. Also, making a decision you may not predict the real consequences in the long run. And it turned out that the consequences are in favour of you.

2. Things Undone To Others

Sometimes you do not keep your promise and fail doing things for other people. And sometimes your broken promise may be a big deal. Yet even then, from time to time you cannot help your acts. I do not support laziness and negligence. I assume that you made your biggest effort but eventually failed to meet the promise.

3. Wrongs Done By Your Words

This is one of the hardest categories because words said only once cause everlasting damage if they hurt. The other person may forgive you, but the pain and scars will remain. Yet it does not mean that you should beat up yourself for ages. Yes. you have said it, you will bear the consequences or have bore them already, so there is no point dewlling on this act anymore. Just learn not to repeat it in the future.

4. Wrongs Done By Your Deeds

It was obvious since this world has been created. We are lucky enough that at least in Europe, the “eye-for-eye” rule is not applied anymore. Therefore, you also have the right to forgive yourself. You will face with the consequences and karma, but apart from that there is no point dwelling for what you have done.

5. Your Past

Suppose that you have quitted drinking. Yet looking back, you still can see the damage done to your family and friends when you used to be drunk. Now you have to face with remorse and guilt. But you know what? No one is perfect. As I wrote in the two previous paragraphs – you will bear consequences yet you can still open anew chapter in your life and close the past.

6. Your Failed Relationships

Sometimes you might think that your life has to be perfect. Everything has to be perfect: your work, your relationships, your children… However, we HAVE THE RIGHT to make mistakes. Learning is a natural way of growing. Think of the time you were learning walking. How many times have you fallen before mastering this skill? The same rule applies to relationships, you are learning from each ot them.

7. Your Weaknesses

It is more about acceptance than forgiveness. However, if the weakness means bad temper and therefore hurting by saying too much, than you need to take action – to redeem the damage done and to apply more coolness to your life. But remember, your weakness might be your strength, too and you never know when it will be.

8. Judging People Unfairly

If it was done by your thoughts and they have not noticed your scornful look or other critical gesture – only you are aware of the judgement. Yet if you said something or someone saw your disapproving body language and then your judgement was unfair… you have something to forgive yourself. You do not know the whole picture only a top of the iceberg. So apologise, face with the consequences forgive yourself and stop judging.

9. Your Self-Criticism And Being Too Critical To Others

Constructive criticism is necessary to see the areas of life which need improvement. However, more often criticism is destructive. Moreover, you have a very strict self-critic in your head which can often paralyse your life or can criticise others destructively. And that is the thing you need to forgive yourself when your criticism was unreasonable and hurt someone..

Read more how to handle destructive criticism

10. Your Lost Hopes and Dreams

We have opportunities all the time in our lives. Yet sometimes the earthy life brings us down, killing the hopes and dreams you may have. Then you resign from something great in your life because of fear, lack of money, helplessness. It is true that some opportunities are missed forever and will not come back, but in the long run you might see the benefits of not taking these opportunities.

11. Your Selfishness

We are all selfish somehow because otherwise, we could not have survived. Even if we are humans, we are still fighting like animals to survive which is especially noticeable as the rat race. Yet when your selfishness brings totally no space for others, you start doing wrong and it has to be forgiven.

12. Your Shortcomings At Work

Your boss may be critical, your co-workers, too, but even if you make mistakes it does not mean to beat up yourself. As I wrote many times in this post, we are humans, having quirks and the right to make mistakes, even if sometimes others want to make perfect robots from us.

13. Your Laziness

Laziness happens when you do not put enough effort to work on your goals. We usually justify it. However, when eventually you are punished somehow for negligence, your self-critic kicks out and you go to the opposite extreme, beating up yourself.

14. Your Lack of Self-Respect

This is very serious “crime” in personal development on the way to ultimate happiness. Lack of self-respect is usually manifested by lack of assertiveness, negligence and some other factors.

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In a Nutshell

As you can rad, there are many things which need your forgiveness. Your mistakes, decisions, quirks, missed opportuniteis or criticism are only some examples. However, starting with even some of these issues, your level of happiness will grow bigger the more things you forgive yourself.

Victoria Herocten

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