Toxic people often defy logic and most are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them. Others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing your buttons.
Your performance is directly linked to the ability to manage your emotions and remain calm under pressure. How to deal with toxic people effectively? You need an approach that enables you to control what you can and eliminate what you cannot.
1. Successful people fight wisely
They know how important it is to live to fight another day. This is really important when your foe is a toxic individual. Unchecked emotion makes you dig your heels in and you are fighting the battle that can leave you severely damaged. You are able to choose your battles wisely while reading and responding to your emotions. It is not the best idea discussing difficult issues just before and during dinner. You only stand your ground when the time is right when choosing the right time.
2. Successful people set limits
Complainers wallow in their problems and fail to focus on solutions. Instead, they want people to join their pity party in order to feel better about themselves.
Fortunately, you can avoid this by setting limits and distancing yourself when necessary. The net time when your mother starts complaining, ask her how she intends to fix the problem. In 99 for 100 cases she will either quiet down or redirect the conversation in a more productive direction.
3. Successful people stay aware of their emotions
You need to be aware of your feelings to maintain an emotional distance. Toxic people will not stop pushing your buttons if you don’t recognize when it’s happening. Sometimes you can find yourself in situations where regrouping and choosing the best way forward is necessary. This is fine and you do not have to be afraid to buy yourself some time to do so.
4. Successful people rise above
Toxic people drive you crazy because their behavior is irrational and truly goes against reason. You might ask the question – why to allow yourself to respond to them emotionally and get sucked?
The more irrational and off-base a toxic person is the easier it is be for you to remove yourself from their traps . Quit trying to beat them at their own game, distance yourself from them emotionally and approach your interactions like they are a science project. Respond only the facts without bothering with the emotional chaos.
Think of your family and friends. The next time when you meet a toxic person smile and nod, without arguing. If he or she starts complaining, create emotional distance, dissociating from the situation. Write down your victory to your journal of success.
Author: Victoria Herocten Writer and coach.
Since 2009 she helps women with abuse to start over and how to be happy .
The co-author of the bestseller “Gratitude Book”.