10 Cases When You Don’t Respect Yourself Part 1


Self-respect is crucial if you want to be a happy person in all dimensions: body, mind, and soul. However, more often you commit the sin of not respecting yourself. I will present you ten the most common cases. These are not all the examples of lack of self-respect, but in order not to frighten you too much, I have chosen only these occurring the most often.

10 Cases When You Don’t Respect Yourself

Before I describe this nasty top ten, ask yourself: Do I really respect myself? When was the last time I have cared for myself and wanted all the best from my life? I will ask you another question:  How sure are you that your life is filled with self-respect?

Now when you know the answers, write them down so later you can compare your score with conclusions made after reading all today’s post. Here are the ten symptoms when you do not respect yourself:

1. Bad Self-Talk

Let me ask you some questions:

  • How often do you say to yourself: ‘I’m stupid’, I’m an idiot’?
  • How often do you criticize yourself when other people make you compliments?
  • When was the last time you said to yourself: ‘I love and approve of myself?’

If you said just once  I’m stupid’, I’m an idiot’ to yourself, chances are that self-respect is not your strongest point. I deliberately crossed them out because the earlier eliminate them from your language the better. We have the right to make mistakes. We are humans, not robots. You also sin lack of respect while denying compliments or being unable to use the word ‘love’ about yourself.. I will give you a challenge now.

Action Exercise

For the next week, every day you wake up, take your diary or the notebook for personal growth (I assume you have got one – if not, start as soon as possible). Write down one page of your notebook with ‘I love and approve of myself because…’ adding the reasons why you think so. Here are my examples:

I love and approve of myself because I am good enough to grow.
I love and approve of myself because I am beautiful.
I love and approve of myself because I am committed to my work.

2. Lack of Assertiveness

How many times have you said ‘no’ when someone put some pressure on you? Are you able to disagree with someone or reject someone’s proposal if it does not suit you? How many times haven’t you protested when people treated you in the wrong way?

Each of these cases means lack of assertiveness and… lack of self-respect. Why? Because you agree for something which makes you unhappy, frustrated and feeling helpless. You actually stick to the move-away values of your life, instead of reaching for happiness and self-fulfillment.

Action Exercise

The next time your family asks you to come for Christmas dinner, try to reject and see what will happen. Will they kill you? And what is the worst thing that will happen if they become angry or sulking?

3. Addictions

No addiction is a positive thing because they ruin your health. And if you do not take care of your health it means lack of self-respect. Simple. If you are not sure, ask yourself these questions:

  • What is the benefit of my… (smoking, drinking, gambling?)
  • Do I really need this addiction (or these addictions if you have more than one) to be a happy person?
  • What is the worst thing that might happen if I stop my addiction?
  • What will I gain after giving up my addiction?

4. Holding Negative Emotions

This is a very common cause indicating a lack of self-respect. Emotions are not bad and all of them are needed. However, some kinds of emotions make you unhappy and initiate the process of destruction of your health, they shorten your life and spoil your relationships.

But even these emotions, like anger, jealousy or resentment can be channeled and transformed into the peace of mind. Today in the morning I was extremely frustrated because of some my yesterday’s decisions. However, instead of ruminating on what I could have done better I took my notebook and started writing:

I, Victoria, LET frustration GO

I have written five pages. Later I also neutralized the negative state by writing.


Action Exercise

The next time you are angry, jealous or frustrated, take your diary of notebook and release these emotions by writing affirmations.

5. Using Negative Language

I have already mentioned the negative labels like ‘an idiot’. However, our language has many more examples of negativity. Let me mention some of them:

  • ‘should’ and ‘have to’ – overused, imprinted since childhood and making us slaves. Use ‘could’ and ‘I choose’ instead.
  • offensive language, like ‘f***’, ‘b**ch’. They carry lots of negative energy, lower your positivity level and these words often trigger negative emotions even if you were happy before.
  • all ‘If only I …’, ‘I wish I …’. You will not change your past, you can create your future – by making new decisions, taking the new kind of action.

Action Exercise

For one day only – and you will see how many you will find – log all the examples of negative language. How often do you swear, use ‘I have to’, ‘I should‘? I can assure you, the number will be huge. Later, cross them all out to erase the negativity from your subconscious mind.

My next post will contain the next five examples of low self-respect.

In a Nutshell

You do not respect yourself while using the negative language, beating up yourself. Lack of assertiveness and addictions also take their toll. When you cannot channel emotions, your body breaks down, illnesses appear and then you can forget about happiness. In many cases, there is a simple method of channeling your emotions – writing. Do the action exercises presented in this article to feel better and happier.


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