Arguments: Can You Win-Win? #2

argumentHow to win-win an argument? What to do to keep harmony in the relationship after stormy exchange of words? Follow the steps described in my today’s and last posts. Good luck.

Listen carefully.

Others cannot help you find a win-win solution unless you tell them what you want. On the other hand, you cannot help them find a win-win solution unless they tell you what they want. It is important that you listen intently to them. Ask probing questions to gather more information if required. Invite them to tell you more. If necessary, don’t be afraid to ask them straight out what they are looking for. The more relevant information is gathered, the easier it becomes for you to resolve the situation amicably.

Emphasize and repeat the key points

It is important that you repeat what you believe to be the key points once both parties have spoken. This shows that you understand the other person, reasserting the important issues for you. Invite them to add any key points which might have been missed by you.

Seek a win/win solution

Having agreed on the key points, make it clear that you would like to find a win-win solution. It means an agreement that works for both of you. Never enforce your own views on this, but invite the other party to offer their own suggestions. It is great if you can find a suitable solution there and then., then You can agree a later time to come back to the discussion if you cannot find a win-win solution. This allows you both more time to generate ideas.

Keep your promise

Never think that once you have come to an agreement, you have achieved your win-win solution. The truth is that your solution has not been achieved until you have taken the necessary action and the situation has been successfully resolved. Remember that agreements without action occur every day and they are of no value. However, the only agreements that are of true value are the ones which are acted upon. It is the reason showing that you absolutely must deliver on what you promise. If you don’t, your relationship may be irreparably damaged and you will lose all trust and respect.

Read Part 1 of this article.


Take action.

Think of the last argument with your partner or at work. How can you use the tips from today’s and last week’s posts to improve the relationship and find a win-win solution?


Share your ideas under this post and join the community on Facebook.


Victoria Herocten

Victoria HeroctenAuthor: Victoria Herocten Writer and coach.
Since 2009 she helps women with abuse to start over and how to be happy .
The co-author of the bestseller “Gratitude Book”.

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