If the abuser is popular, it can be hard for you to tell your friends for fear that no one will believe you or that everyone will take the abuser’s side.
Well, you do not have to tell everybody. First, test your friends, if they are understanding – they will believe you. If they are not – they should be excluded from your friends’ circle, for your own good. Have you seen celebrities who divorced, were abused (think of Whitney Houston who was abused by her husband Bobby Brown)? Was there any fuss about it? I am sure that even if your abusive partner is influential, you can find the way to leave. Your peace of mind is more important then what others say.
You may feel pressure to raise your children with both parents together, even if that means staying in an abusive relationship. Also, the abusive partner may threaten you to take or harm the children if your you leave.
Think if living with an abusive partner is really good for your children – are you sure that he will not abuse them, too? What atmosphere at home will the children have, hearing their mother crying, being treated bad. What model will your partner be for your son or daughter? Make a list of costs and benefits of staying in the abusive relationship “for the sake of children” – and I am sure that there will be more negative consequences than benefits of that.
Traditional gender roles can make it difficult for young women to admit to being sexually active and for young men to admit to being abused. Also, your culture or religion may influence you to stay rather than end the relationship for fear of bringing shame upon your family and community.
That may be hard. It is up to you how you treat your religion. If you want to live according to it – that is fine, but then you resign from your own happiness for the community. But them – stop complaining that you are unhappy. But I believe that even if you “should” stay with the abuser because of the religion, this religion has also commandments punishing violence. If this religion does not have them – think what you believe in, do you really deserve such treatment?