Emotional Abuse: How To Stop It In 2 Steps

emotional abuse monsterPhysical and emotional abuse is something that no one should have to endure and there is no excuse that justifies it. However, until you know the monster of abuse, nothing will change. Here is the first step to do.

When you are in a healthy relationship, both individuals support each other, sharing good times and helping each other through tough ones.  It helps you face the world with confidence when you respect someone and those feelings are returned.

What do you usually do when you recognize emotional abuse?

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But what happens when this ideal model of relationship breaks down? How will it happen? Usually gradually or the relationship was abusive from the beginning, but you have not recognized it because of infatuation.
Any abusive relationship can have many typical characteristics, similar in all cases. There are some common patterns of behaviour  that can signal your relationship has the potential to become abusive.

1. Possessiveness

This happens when your partner checks on you constantly to see where you are, what you are doing and who you are with. He is just trying to control where you go and who you see. It has nothing common with care, because he does not ask you for permission to check you. More than that, he may use some devices without your consent, like your mobile phone if you have no PIN. If you notice the above symptoms, you are the victim of emotional abuse.

2. Put downs

He puts you down, either publicly or privately by attacking your level of intelligence, your looks or your abilities. It is pure emotional abuse. No one likes it. But he may also constantly compare you unfavourably with others, including his exes. He can also blame you for all the problems in the relationship. All that is destructive criticism and guilt manipulation. You urgently have to learn how to recognize these two destructive patterns and confront them, even if you “love” him.

3. Jealousy

In case of emotional abuse he may accuse you of flirting or being unfaithful without any reason. He also puts pressure on you not to spend time with members of the same or opposite sex, or isolates you from family and friends. This is often done by rude behaviour. Remember that being jealous is his problem – with insecurity and low self-esteem. But instead of facing his challenges and working on them, he attacks you. And again, love is not about patient bearing all your partner’s bad humour moments, like listening to the cry of 2-year-old child. He is an adult.

4. Threats

Emotional abuse causes that he can yell, sulk and deliberately break things you value. He threatens to use violence against you, your family or friends or even a pet. He may also tell you nobody else would want you. This is emotional blackmail connected with guilt manipulation and tearing down someone’s self-esteem. Never agree to be blackmailed.
What to do if you are being abused.

It is a big no-no to be physically or verbally threatened by someone you are in a relationship with. It is never ok to be put down and shoved, pushed around, slapped, hit, kicked, or punched. No one deserves to be treated this way and no one should use violence or even threat of violence – to make you do things that you do not want to do.
It’s never ok for someone to excuse their behaviour by saying that he is tired, stressed, under financial pressure or to blame alcohol or drugs.

Take action.

If you live with your boyfriend and you do not feel safe, find other accommodation with friends or family, or if that’s not possible, an emergency accommodation service. Check out this page useful links for more.

Please comment today’s post and share with your friends. Have a nice day.

Victoria HeroctenAuthor: Victoria Herocten Writer and coach.
Since 2009 she helps women with abuse to start over and how to be happy .
The co-author of the bestseller “Gratitude Book”.

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