Today let’s check why you might want to help other people. It seems so natural. But have you ever thought why you actually help the others? Just checking the results of your efforts, you can see some differences. I will show you the real reasons, hidden behind your actions, while helping the others.
1. You want to take care for the other person. It is a very common form of motivation in relationships – at least at the beginning. You also feel the urge to take care for your kids or old parents. Your pets also belong to this category. You see someone in need and instantly feel committed to support. However, there is one condition: the people or animals need to trigger your positive emotions. You will not take care for a beggar or a drunk person unless… motivated by reason 2 or 3.
But taking care may be a double-edged sword. You may have the best intentions, yet… fail to satisfy your partner or kid, without doing your homework. It is not enough that you just want to take care of the other. You need to know when and how.
2. You might help the beggar from mercy. If your beliefs include mercy, if you see someone really starving, you might help – even a stranger. Think of kids. they are the best tool, used by beggars and other groups, seeking money without working. They know that people will not be indifferent (especially the women) seeing a baby, which is naked and hungry. Hence you need to know to what extend mercy is indeed helping and when it is your vulnerable spot, used by manipulators.
3. You might feel obliged to help – because of many reasons. Firstly – because others do the same and it is strange to take an odd action. You might risk too much – your reputation, career etc. You might feel forced to help, under your family or religion’s pressure – in the field regarded as important by them.
However, it my turn out that not each kind of help is accepted by a given religion, for example. Secondly, you can be forced externally – by the government, or feel an inner urge. Think now for a while and note down all the situations, when you felt under pressure, helping the others.
What reasons of helping the others can you find in your own behavior? What examples can you give, watching your friends, the people around you? Share your opinion. Have a nice day.