How To Stay Positive Despite an Abusive Relationship #3

happy despite abusive relationshipWhen you stop blaming others and define the problem, abusive relationship will be less frustrating. But you can do more for yourself

7. Make a decision to learn

Within every problem you face, there is the seed of an equal or greater benefit or advantage. This is the so-cold sowing and reaping law. Everything that happens to you now is the result of your past decisions, thoughts and actions. But what is even more important, all what you are doing now will have an impact on your future.
You are responsible for your thinking and dealing with emotions, as well as the decisions made. But of course, there are things beyond your control. You will not force your abusive boyfriend to stop drinking or being aggressive, unless he decides to to so himself.

However, observing his patten of behaviour you can decide about your next step – acting in a different way, having a serious talk or seek help outside. When you discipline yourself to look for the good in the situation, and to seek the valuable lessons that the situation or crisis might contain, you automatically remain calm, positive, and optimistic. And any cation that you will take will empower you as the you feel having more control over the situation.
Therefore, no matter what happens, seek the valuable lesson in every difficulty and setback.

Look for something good in your situation. Very often, what appears to be a major setback is an opportunity in disguise. Heated arguments will strengthen your emotional intelligence and inner power, even if you might fall sometimes and react according to the abuser.

8. Communicate With Others

In case of being in an abusive relationship, talking over the problem with a counselor or trusted friend will help immensely to keep you calm and controlled. You can do it in person as well as by chatting or calling your supported. You can find some useful options on my website on the menu.

Go for a long walk and review the situation, examining it from every angle, seeking a possible solution. It is even better when you meet your friends and do the things with them. Consider going away for some days of staying with your parents, if possible. If your abusive boyfriend does not allow you to go out, find at least one moment when he is not around and focus on something you like and which empowers you. Use any opportunity to contact your supporters then.

You can also start a blog and share with your story with other people, who can support you. Then you will release your negative emotions and also notice that there are other people facing your problems.

9. Get Busy Solving the Problem

Instead of becoming upset or doubting yourself and your abilities, decide to take action, any action, to resolve the difficulty and get yourself through the crunch. It is said that thinking about your situation worsens it and can paralyze you. Abuse naturally generates negative thinking and they often flood your mind, making you blind to solutions
I know it is not easy to take action when everything around seems to convince you about helplessness of your situation. However, you do have some sparks of hope and power. Jut think how you feel after the counseling session or talk with your friend. Use at least these small opportunities to take action. Try the solutions given to you by your supporters and act – despite everything around. Just focus on these tools instead of looking around, focusing on what your boyfriend will do or your family will say.


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Take action.

Go for coffee with your best friend or make an appointment for a counseling session. Listen carefully the solutions that your supporters are giving to you. Then decide to use them for the next 30 days, every day, despite all what happens in your relationship. You can always start from your thinking if other options seem to be too difficult at the moment.

Please comment today’s post and share with your friends. Have a nice day. Victoria Herocten

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