4. Ask Questions
Asking questions will clear your mind. You will become more aware of the facts which may be not so overwhelming as you have previously seen them. Here are some questions that will help you get at the facts:
What is the situation exactly?
What has happened?
When did it happen?
Where did it happen?
How did it happen?
Who was involved?
What are the facts?
How do we know that these facts are accurate?
Who is responsible for doing (or not doing) certain things?
Even if you choose only one of the questions, your clarity and control over the situation will increase significantly. You feel that you have more clarity and control over the situation. You can also plan what to make differently the next time in the same situation, for example when your boyfriend starts arguing.
5. Write your answers down
Use the question from tip 4 to define your situation. Then ask yourself ‘‘What, exactly, is the problem?’’ and write down a clear statement of the problem on a piece of paper. If you describe the problem down on paper, it starts to solve itself. The next step is to write down what all of the possible solutions to the problem. Be creative and don’t assess your ideas.
Then look at the list of solutions that you have written and choose one, which you can implement right now.
6. Try Something Different
While choosing the solution of solving your problem, try something different or take a different approach to solving a problem. It is said that when you do the same thing in the same way all the time, nothing will change. So if you want to solve the problems in your abusive relationship, change something.
I am not saying that changing your life is easy and that you will not face obstacles or your own lack of confidence. The point is to take a different approach and solving what went wrong the first time. Believe that you will eventually succeed and this will help you improve over the long run.
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Choose one problem in your relationship. Define it in writing, answer the questions presented in today’s post. Then choose one simple solution which may change your life at least in some way.
Please comment today’s post and share with your friends. Have a nice day. Victoria Herocten