Very few people know the secret of handling criticism. However, that skill is indispensable in successful personal life and empowering relationships. Today I will present you 4 effective tools.
1. Notice the difference between destructive and constructive criticism
This is the first step to being able to deal with criticism. Where is the feedback coming from? What are the intentions of the person who is criticizing you? If it is your mentor or friend then chances are the person only wants you to perform better. However, when it is coming from a person who does not like you or has insecurities, then you have to wonder whether or not the person has good intention towards you .If you are sure that the criticism is completely invalid, then you have to read my next post.
Constructive criticism is meant to help you. Destructive criticism is only intended to cause hurt. Focus on the message as well as the delivery.
2. Never take it personally
If you want to know how to best deal with criticism, then you cannot take it personally. If your boss says you have been a little less productive than usual lately, it’s not because he thinks you are fat and lazy; it is because he wants you, his employee, to step up your game. If your best friend Never think that your friend is calling you a horrible friend and a zombie if she says that you have a tendency to zone out when she is talking to you. It just means that she wants you to communicate a little better.
If the criticism is constructive, then it is intended to guide you and to help you improve as a person, not to bring you down and make you feel inadequate.
3. You do not have to be perfect
This is a great way to deal with criticism. You cannot keep thinking that you can do no wrong if you want to be able to take a little bit of feedback. Nobody is perfect, so if you think you are perfect, then you are nobody. Every person has flaws, and if you do not see any of yours, then you are not analyzing yourself as closely as you should.
Make a list of your 10 biggest flaws. That’s right. 10, not less. Can you think of 10 things that need improvement? How about 15? This exercise is not meant to make you feel bad about yourself. Instead, you see that you have room for improvement. So when you write down your 10 flaws add instantly one solution to each of them.
Think about all of the people you know. Can you name a single one who is perfect? Remember that even most movie stars have some flaws, however visibly small they may be.
4. Work on being less sensitive
You have to start thickening your skin if you always find yourself crying, getting defensive, and feeling generally upset when someone gives you what was supposed to be helpful feedback. Work on accepting your flaws and being able to hear about some areas where you can improve. If you never improve, then you will be flat-lining. Try to focus on the message and its intention to help you instead of focusing on all of the “mean” or “hurtful” things that were said to you.
Control your emotions. You do not have to tear up every time someone says a negative word.
Work on your reputation. If people think you are sensitive, they will be less likely to tell you the truth, and you do not want people to feel like they are walking around on eggshells whenever they talk to you.
Stay tuned to my blog and check it in a wek’s time. You will learn how to handle destructive criticism.