Financial abuse is something that you rarely discuss openly since it is often mixed with Other toxic behaviour of your partner. Very rarely do the women speak of the issue because of the shame. However, financial abuse is more common than it might be suspected. Are you the victim? Check.
So what are the signs and what can be done about it?
You Are Forced to Have Many Children
You are forced to be pregnant every other year of the relationship In this way you will never have the chance to return to work. He may promise you bigger care. However, with the birth of each child, the cost of childcare makes it impossible to join the workforce again. Your work is to care for children and your partner while never knowing what it is like to taste financial freedom and independence. Ultimately, you become dependent upon your partner for your survival.
Everything is fine when the relationship is sound. However, the power which your partner has over you, tempts him to abuse you, to control your freedom ans use emotional blackmail “you will do… or I will not give you money”. It should be joint decision of how many children you decide to have and how it affect your financial independence.
You Are Forced to Have No Own Bank Account
He has suggested that there would be only one account and you do not have to bother with finance. You may be forced to have no account because of the joint one. You have no debit card as your partner uses the joint one. All the money comes from one source. The working partner. This puts you in the position of relying on your partner for your very existence, hand to mouth. Financial abuse occurs here when you are not allowed to have a job and if you do then your checks go to your partner who deposits the money in a separate account out of your control.
He Threatens Leaving You
This is one of the most serious forms of financial abuse. Threatening to leave or deny financial support knowing that the woman is unable to support yourself without the finances of her partner. Once your partner levies such a threat, control is established since you know that without him, your daily needs won’t be met. So, you stay in her lane and keep yourself in line fearing that without your partner, you will be destitute with no place to go.
Your Career Choices Are Defined By Him
Women in financially abusive relationships are often forced to take career paths they would not have chosen on their own. This keeps them from succeeding, eventually becoming financially stable and independent in their own right. You may either stay-at-home mom or if you do work, it is part-time with the permission of your spouse. If you are lucky enough to be able to work full-time in such a relationship then your partner often sabotages your career/work life by forcing you to stay home or giving an ultimatum around quitting the job or ending the relationship. Ask yourself a question: What is more important – your happiness or the luxury life? You might struggle at first, breaking up with him. But in long run, you will have more opportunities to increase your wealth and you can be proud of doing so. Thinking in this way, you will quickly break free from your controlling partner.
Every Penny Spent Is A Penny Tracked
Every penny, and I mean every penny must be accounted for when given to you in this relationship. If it cannot be accounted for then the emotional and even physical abuse ensues and consequences are handed out. This many involve being given less money for basic necessities or being forced to beg for money. The feeling of being trapped in the house with no money for gas, food or transportation is crippling and women in this type of relationship stick to this rule or they know they will suffer the consequences. T because he blackmails you. This usually happens when you are dependent on your partner – he is the breadwinner and you stay at home or are not allowed to work
He Is a Lazy Bum – Deadbeat
The man in such relationship controls everything financially even though they is not working, because he takes and controls all of the money coming into the home. All the household bills are usually in your name, but he never pays them, forcing her to work harder while never seeing the fruits of her labour.
Author: Victoria Herocten Writer and coach.
Since 2009 she helps women with abuse to start over and how to be happy .
The co-author of the bestseller“Gratitude Book”.