Domestic Abuse: How To Recognize Early Stages

domestic abuse warning signs

Domestic abuse does not develop out of the blue. You can always find some early warning signs in your relationship. Learn what to pay attention to:


It’s impossible to know with certainty what goes on behind closed doors. However, there are some telltale signs and symptoms of emotional abuse and domestic violence. If you witness any warning signs of abuse in a friend, family member, or co-worker, take them very seriously.
There are some types of warning signs which indicate possible abuse in the future. They are general warning signs, the signs of physical violence, of isolation and psychological abuse. Each category is equally important and even if you find one sign, from one category, be careful and regard your relationship as potentially abusive. In the case of physical violence warning signs, it is evident that you are facing abuse.

General Warning Signs of Domestic Abuse

Here is a list of warning signs generally indicating domestic abuse. They are very common and you can be at risk at them if your partner comes from an abusive family of struggled with abuse himself:

You May Seem Afraid or Anxious To Please Your Partner

How many times did you say: ‘I’d like to do this to my boyfriend, but what if he gets angry or distant’? This might happen after ha has criticized you before. Let’s say you have prepared a lovely dinner, yet he does not like it and instead of constrictive he used a destructive criticism.

You Go Along With Everything Your Partner Says And Does

What do you do if your partner decides where to go on holiday, what to eat for dinner of which program to watch on TV? If it happens all the time and you are afraid to propose your own options, chances are that you may be at risk of abuse, i.e. of being controlled. Learn how to negotiate the compromise and stand up for yourself. Your needs and preferences are of the same importance as of your partner’s.

You Check In Often With Your Partner To Report Where You Are

In this case, you are treated like a little child because all your decisions have to be consulted with your partner. Does he trust you enough to let you decide and do what you like doing? If there is trust in your relationship, going to visit your friends should not be a problem for him. Beware as constant reporting what you are doing to your partner can create the controlling relationship, based on fear.

You Receive Frequent, Harassing Phone Calls From Your Partner

he might say that it is a joke. but it isn’t. In fact, you do not deserve such treatment. Especially when you are at work, with your friends or just you are having a rest and when he knows that you are busy. You have the right to enjoy your time outside him and if he trusts you, he does not need to control you all the time.

You Talk About His Temper, Jealousy, or Possessiveness

This is a more serious warning sign as you start noticing that something is wrong. Follow your guts and take action before the problem becomes more serious. Having a talk can help you to see if he really cares about what you think and if he takes your needs and preferences into account making a decision. Until you are married or have kids yet, this is maybe the last chance to fix the problem of upcoming abuse or to leave him.

As you can see, there are warning signs which you can notice early in your relationship and take some action when necessary. Good luck with creating an abuse-free relationship with your partner. Have a nice day.

Victoria Herocten


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