Change Your Life… Meet the Brutal Truth


Many of my readers say that they want to change their lives. Let’s talk seriously, because the topic is really important. Do you really want to have a different life than today?

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated. Confucius

How many times have you tried to make changes in your life and you have failed? maybe you even do not want to try anymore. Especially when you are living in a toxic or even an abusive relationship… But suppose that

You’re saying that you want a change…

That’s great. You say that you have dreams, that you are moved by something. You are sure that it will be your happy year, aren’t you?

The question I will ask you is: What are the odds that this your will be really the best year in your life, that your dreams will come true? In other words – how much effort are you making to achieve your goals?

Let me explain…

The Law of Focus. What you pay attention to, focus on, this issue drains your energy. The rule is very simple: you are thinking about this issue, you put your emotions into it. And all your focus and energy is being eaten by this issue. Then you are thinking your dominant thoughts, filled with the issue you focus on.

Thoughts, actions, and beliefs are the things we focus on an everyday basis. However, dominant thoughts determine what you will do next

So what are your dominant thoughts?

If you are facing a challenge, e.g. living in a toxic relationship, are you able to focus on your strengths, on finding a solution, rather than moaning that you are treated badly, or even worse – seeing no option of getting out of the cage?

Now take a piece of paper and write – what you are thinking about the most often during just one day. These are your dominant thoughts. Are you happy with the result? What could you do to improve the quality of your thoughts?

You wake up in the morning and…

You start thinking about yesterday, about what happened a week ago, a month ago, that someone has hurt you, has done you wrong. You are thinking how hard this day will be, about your parents, your partner, your kids, about your work, your boss, your friends. About all who make you angry or annoy you. You are thinking about your body, the diet you should be on, about the weather, money, debts. You are thinking about what is on TV, on the radio, on Facebook… You see all the “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts”, “have-tos”. You are thinking about stress and about everything I have not mentioned in this paragraph…

Think for a while…

But you know what? Where is YOU in all your thinking? Your happiness, your goals, your future? If you wasted your energy and attention to other things, how much of it is left for yourself?
Action exercise

Answer the question: Why is everything around you more important than yourself, your dreams, goals and your happiness?

Answer this question in writing and think for a while what you could do to change the focus. Because what miracle would happen for you to achieve your goals, if you don’t have time for it, you have no energy left for it, no attention?

Ok, let’s make the balance sheet of your happiness

Look honestly on your life and think what you could change… to focus more on yourself, to take care of yourself better. Maybe you will need to make some serious decisions, work on your beliefs and thoughts. And the last, but not least…

Remember, the New Year is coming… You have a huge opportunity to start the life you really wanted this year. It’s never too late. All is in your hands. Just decide and take a massive action. Good luck.

Last But Not Least.

I’d like to hear from you, so share your conclusions with others who will read this blog, as maybe you will help someone to avoid mistakes and become a happy person. Thank you.

Victoria Herocten

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