Some readers asked me to write more about questioning the beliefs and their references. Therefore, today I will give you more example how to break down negative references of the belief.
“If you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything.”
— Gordon A. Eadie
“Identify your problems, but give your power and energy to solutions.” – Tony Robbins
In a case of opinions, you may find some references like that “Because my mother has told me so.” You have already learned that you do not need her approval in your adult life. But there is one more thing: she might not be an expert in the field she criticized you.
Is this person an expert?
Let’s say that you were poor at Maths. Unless your mother is a teacher of Maths, her criticism may be valid. But not really, as I believe that you ARE good at some aspects of Maths. Maybe geometry is not your strongest point, but you can multiply and divert efficiently, being an important stock exchange investor. We all know that formal education is not perfect and even the teachers of Maths may not be experts in their field, teaching only the minimum comprised in the curricula.
If the so-called authority (like your parents, teachers, etc.) called you manes (e.g. “stupid,” “an idiot,” “jerk,” ask this question:
What does “stupid” mean?
Unfortunately, then you can discover many areas in which you are struggling. However, you can always question each of them, finding the examples that you WERE good at. So you might not be a perfect cook, but I believe that you can prepare at least one good meal, even if it has happened once.
You can always repeat this achievement. You will even focus more on your skills rather than limits asking these questions:
- What are the fields of life where you are smart?
- When were you quick last time?
- Even if you struggle in …., when was the last time you have done it right?
Who already likes you?
Apart from those people who criticize you, there is at least one person who loves and admires you, even if it may be your counsellor. Ask him or her what they think of you in the field your mother or ex criticized.
In conclusion, always remember to question the authority of the person who criticizes you and find the cases when this criticism is not valid. In this way, you will break down many references and then, negative beliefs. Good luck