What does it mean to take control over your life totally? Today I will give you seven efficient tools which will help you to enjoy the life that you have always dreamt about.
Let’s analyse one quote, which presents you how to take control of your life:
“You cannot change the environment,
but you can change yourself.
You cannot change who you are,
but you can change your values and habits.
You cannot change the past,
but you can change the future.
You cannot change the fact,
but your can change your attitude.
You cannot change the weather,
but you can change your mood.
You cannot always feel happy,
but you can always put a smile on your face.”
Yes, that is true, you can always change yourself. You might ask: “How can I change myself and what for?” I will tell you, for your own good, for your happiness and self-fulfillment. You are here to create great things, to contribute your best to the society, your family.
Changing yourself will help you to deal with the harsh reality better, to be independent of what the government is planning and what disasters happen in the world. Think for a while: what is the thing in your life for which you would die? Your family, your work, your ego? How do you value your happiness, your peace of mind, your self-fulfillment? If you do care about your happiness, changing your bad habits, beliefs or managing thoughts and emotions is a must.
Define your current level of happiness, answering some questions. Do it in writing:
- How do your habits help you to be a happy person?
- Are your thoughts and beliefs positive?
- How often do you speak the uplifting language?
- Whet do you do with your negative emotions?
- Which of your actions is happiness oriented?
When you finish, evaluate your whole level of happiness on the scale from 1 to 10, where ten means “euphoric”.
2. Change Your Values And Your Habits
You will not change your age, your height or the genetic combination. But you can do your best to make the most of them. Then you will stop finding excuses: “I’m too old, too young,” “I have no money, no business skills.” Start with what you have and change the habits which do not help you to become a happy and prosperous person.
Also, think of your values. If you focus on your limits instead of growth, contribution and happiness, the chances are that you will be an unhappy person. Today take a piece of paper and a pen. List all your values – the move-towards and the move-away-from ones. Then number your values from the most to the least important. What can you see? Your life constitution. Maybe it is time to change it to become a happier person?
Now think of your habits. So what do you do on a daily basis? How do you spend your time? How much of this time is for creating your happiness?
Look at your values. Which of them are helpful regarding bringing you to happiness? Which distract you from happiness? Choose one new value which you can apply to creating more happiness in your life. Define it. You can think of growth, for example. This value will help you to cope with every challenge as you will learn even from the most painful experiences.
3. Create a Compelling Future
The past is a lesson, but your homework is to create the compelling future, using the present. I know that the past can be a demanding teacher and causes lots of discomforts. However, only leaving your comfort zone, you will be able to start a happy life and live above your past.
“Be willing to step outside your comfort zone once in a while; take the risks in life that seem worth taking. The ride might not be as predictable if you’d just planted your feet and stayed put, but it will be a heck of a lot more interesting.” – Edward Whitacre, Jr.
4. Stop Criticizing Yourself
How often do you criticize yourself because of wrong decisions? Remember that every decision is the best at the moment of making it. You are a human being, and you will never know or predict everything so that your decision will always be right. You have the right to make mistakes.
The truth is that even if you make a wrong decision, you can always correct it. I know, sometimes we make critical decisions, where a mistake costs much. But even then, you can change your decision. Let’s say that you have chosen the wrong job or spouse. It will be challenging at first to make changes, but with the help of your friends and a counsellor, you will be able to start a better life.
5. Change Your Attitude
How many times have you been angry waiting in the traffic jam or seeing your partner’s flaws? You always have a choice how to react in a given situation, and it is solely your responsibility to choose the most real option. Instead of being angry, you can think of using the time while waiting for the red light to do some isometric exercises, just stretching and then relaxing the muscles of your abdomen while sitting for example.
List all the things in your life that annoy you. Choose the one that is the most annoying and Brainstorm 20 ideas of alternative reactions you can opt to change your attitude. Then decide which of these ideas you will use on an everyday basis and apply it right now. Do not procrastinate. Your happiness is at stake.
6. Change Your Mood
Again, all depends on you. Instead of complaining, answer the question and do it in writing:
How can I use the current circumstances to increase my happiness?
Always focus on the goals that bring you to happiness and the primary of these goals is your work on the aspects of your life which are negative. You can create new habits which will enable you to make the most of the circumstances which you dislike.
For example, if the weather is bad, think what else you could do to make the most of this fact? Instead of going for a walk, you can do some exercises at home. Or maybe do some cleaning of your house, reading a book which is due to return to the library.
Take your diary and list five situations which annoy you. Define the reasons of annoyance for each of them. When you finish, brainstorm five new ways of perceiving these circumstances. Apply them in your life right now.
Smiling is very therapeutic. Scientists have proved that even pretending to smile will help you to alleviate your mood. At first, it may be awkward. However, when you try it and do on a regular basis, smiling will boost your happiness.
Lousie Hay in her recording “Self-Love” encourages the listener to look in the mirror some times during the day, e.g. in the toilet and saying “I love you, I really, really love you.” I have tried this technique myself and only a week was needed to see significant changes in my mood and attitude.
Commit to looking at the mirror and to say something kind to you for at least a month. It can be your favourite affirmation or the one: “I love and approve of myself.” Monitor your happiness level every day, using the scale from 1 to 10, where ten means “euphoric”.
How Do You Take Control OIver Your Life?
I’d like to hear from you, so share your conclusions with others who will read this blog, as maybe you will help someone to avoid mistakes and become a happy person. Thank you.