Have you ever wondered why your relationships with people are toxic again? Because you have never tried to create a healthy relationship. Meet the 4 golden rules.
1. Respect Yourself
Deep down, you know you deserve better treatment by other people. Never settle for less and put up with some abusers to infect you with negativity and violence. Never.
Get busy. Work on your own life. This means making time for your interests and hobbies. Work hard at school or your job. Spend time with friends and, what is most important – have a relationship with yourself first.
2. Set boundaries with various people in your life
They might be your parents, the rest of your family, your friends and co-workers. Not all of them are challenging in the same way. You may find it easier to stand up to your boyfriend or mother if you have had practice standing up to others in your life. Join an assertiveness club and mock it with your friends.
3. Surround yourself with friends who respect you
It will help you remember how you like to be treated.
When you meet somebody new, postpone sex at the beginning of the relationship. This may seem like a crazy strategy and very difficult to implement. Yet once sex starts people tend to excuse bad behaviours and stop paying as much attention. Then it is very easy to miss some important warning signs and to end the relationship in case it started to be toxic. If you get to know someone well before entering into a sexual relationship with him or her, you may avoid a toxic relationship completely, without breaking your heart.
4. Look into therapy or counselling of some kind.
You may come from an abusive family, where alcohol and abuse – both physical and verbal – were present on daily basis. Then, before you even start to seek a new relationship, work out your childhood wounds and negative thinking patterns.. Otherwise you will attract someone who will resemble the relationship of your parents because it if something you know and feel comfortable with.
Author: Victoria Herocten Writer and coach.
Since 2009 she helps women with abuse to start over and how to be happy .
The co-author of the bestseller“Gratitude Book”.