Complainers can make your life miserable. You have probably met at least one of them in your life. What to do, to protect from their negative influence on your life?
“What we need to do is always lean into the future; when the world changes around you and when it changes against you – what used to be a tail wind is now a head wind – you have to lean into that and figure out what to do because complaining isn’t a strategy.” – Jeff Bezos
What Does Not Work
Before you even start taking this challenge, learn what does not work in case of dealing with complainers. Then you will avoid unnecessary pitfalls.what does not work. There are five ways in which you should not approach complainers:
Cheering the Complainers Up
You night have good intentions and try to solve their problems, cheering the complainers up. However, remember that they do not need your encouragement because complaining gives them a lot of benefits, such as being noticed, passing their problems on other people and having the reason for not taking life in their hands.
This approach also does not work. Why? Bause complainers are not willing to take action. They are pretending to do something with the problems described other people. However, you may repeat them your suggestions many times, and there will be no result – complaining will continue endlessly.
Telling Them to Take Action
For complainers, taking action means… complaining. Then they can gain compassion and attention but without the need of solving their problems. Also, this kind of people does not tolerate the pressure of any sort. Therefore, telling them what to do will never work.
Complaining about Them
It is probably the worst way of handling the people who complain too much. Doing so, you manifest an infection with their attitude. You pass the ball to another decent person who will “solve” the problem. But they will not do it. Remember that people who complain show that their life is out of control.
You can pretend that there are no complainers and that they do not affect your life. Yet the truth is different. Just assuming that there are no complainers will cause that you will be influenced by them, even if you do not want it. Ignore the people who complain in a smart way. How? I will tell you in the next part of this post.
How To Handle Complainers
Now I will show you the ways which will help you to handle complainers. There will be three most efficient tips which you can use.
1. Cut Contact
The simplest way is to tell that you don’t have the time for conversation. Notice that people who complain usually like to chat – either in the real life or online.e.g. on Facebook. When you start ignoring their messages or invitations to meet. After some time, the complainers will stop bothering you. A note of caustion:. It may be challenging to use this technique for family and close friends. Use it wisely in these cases and try the others two, described in this article.
2. Use Ignorance Technique
You have already read that ignorance of people who complain can be done in a smart way. Then you do not deny that the problem does not exist and those people have good intentions. Instead, you actively let them know that their words have no impact on you. Use the broken record technique. Every time when a complainer says something, paraphrase their words and say:
“I know that it is painful/difficult ect., but what action will you take to solve the problem?”
3. Thell Them That Other People Suffer Even More
You can also tell the people who complain that your problem is even bigger than they seem or others are in the worse situation. For example, if someone complains about money, draw their attention to homeless people or those who earn less.
How Do You Handle Complainers?
I’d like to hear from you, so please leave your comment under this post. You can inspire someone by your words and help other people. Thank you and have a nice day.